My pissed-off job search observation of the day OR why your Social Media “strategy” sucks

Just for “giggles” I was perusing the Social Media job listings on Linkedin.  (and before I go any farther, let me just say that Linkedin has ruined all job search attempts for me forever, however, that is another pissed-off post… but I digress).

So back to searching for social media jobs…

Everyone knows that the BEST purveyors of fine social media are ordinary people with a really interesting story to tell.  And the worst users of Social Media: Corporate tools with degrees in “marketing”– positions where you are expected to do “media planning” and “drive strategy”.

Beyonce cuts her hair at 8am and by 8:30 Twitter has ignited into a frenzy.

“Fred” the Social Media Manager announces a sale on widgets at XYZ Corporation to its 100 followers at 8am, and the world sleeps on.

Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. is about the now, about the moment–you can not “strategize” the moment.

My advice to corporations:

1) Follow a few social media users who work in your area of expertise for a month or two. Example: you make fine furniture… follow a few design bloggers; you make wine; follow a few wine tweeters. (that’s not very hard, is it?)

2) Make sure they never make a fool out of themselves.

3) Make sure they know how to spell… and are not illiterate assholes.

4) Make sure they know how add photos or video clips or hashtags, etc.

5) Open up a dialogue and engage (or as my friend Cara, from Social Media Club always says: take that online relationship, offline).

6) Do not hire a “Fred” with his Ph.D in statistics and analytics. Fred is boring.

7) Have FUN with it.  Using social media is not a time to “synergize backward overflow.”


Heart Guardian – Chapter 12 (but only half of it)

The author Nora Roberts was on TV yesterday talking about how difficult writing is for her.  If it’s difficult for her (with all of her bestsellers, money, and awards) imagine what it’s like for people who are unsure of their writing… who stare at the computer screen some days and just cannot get it together.  That pretty much describes me.  I have been looking at this chapter for months (and months) now and cannot get pass the block that it always causes.

And I know what’s causing it.  It’s one of those little secondary plot lines which takes you away from the main story and gives you a glimpse of what’s going on elsewhere.  I can’t seem to move past this chapter because I can’t resolve it all in my mind. Plain and simple it is the Jenusia character; Something is off… just not enough character development has been devoted to her. So, to push past it, I am going to dump her little side story here as chapter 12 (well, half of it) so I can just get on with it already.


Anyway… where we left off in Chapter 11…

The gardens at the opposite end of the complex were slightly more colorful and showy than the gardens adjacent. Clearly her guide’s tastes leaned towards the vibrant. She could just make out a male figure bending at the waist in order to smell a flower blossom. But when he righted himself there was something very familiar about his carriage: the finely chiseled jaw, the noble slant of the brow, and the delicate curve of his ear all marked him out as someone she knew well–very well– and had thought dead.

She stopped on the dirt path and released a strangled cry. The figure stood tall, turned and fully revealed himself to her when he stepped through the plantations. However, before he could bow in greeting, Uhura had taken off in a run, barreling towards him, her arms open wide to receive him, all the while sobbing loudly at the same time.

Her body slammed into his and her arms had him around the neck so tightly that he was at a lost on how to breathe.

“Selkek,” she cried.

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An open letter to my neighbor: We need to talk about booty-call etiquette

Dear Young Man next door,

I get it, you’re still young; you still like to “entertain” young ladies in your home (at the oddest hours) but after what I witnessed yesterday, I think we need to talk about a word that is obviously not in your vocabulary: that word is discretion.

Back in my day (when the dinosaurs ruled the earth) a young lady did not turn up at a gentleman’s home at 5 o’clock in the afternoon (in a building where there are young children and a priest living down the hall, for God’s sake) wearing black lace tights, stilettos, and what I can only equate was similar to a black swim suit… with her buttocks hanging out.

Also, and more importantly, a young lady would know which address she was turning up at instead of knocking on every. single. door. in the lobby in search of your apartment.  Imagine my surprise when I was presented with this most startling sight at the advanced age of 49.  You know we ‘senior citizens’ all have weak hearts.

I do so hope that next time your many lady “friends” would show your neighbors the respect and common courtesy of wearing a trench coat (I mean, it was raining after all and you must own that a trench coat is a much more visually appealing (and probably a more sophisticated and sexy sight) than what she was wearing… or, in this case, not wearing… and warmer, too.


Your neighbor, Teresa