Heart’s Guardian – Chapter 3

Author’s note: I have decided not to give the chapters titles anymore.  They just don’t suit me or this story.

Chapter 3


Leaving the briefing room, the bridge officers all moved to their stations. Nyota and Spock never conversed on private matters while on the bridge as they had chosen to keep their private and professional lives separate long ago. Yet today, after the extraordinary announcement by the captain, Spock could almost sense Uhura’s eyes on him every so often, letting him know that she wanted to talk.

So, it was eight hours later at the end of their shift, when, instead of her going directly to her own quarters as she usually did, she followed him back to his.

The door whooshed to a close upon her entrance and she spoke immediately. Her voice was gentle, but direct.

Do you want to talk about what the captain said today?”

He stood in front of his food dispenser entering the code for tea.

I am fine, Nyota.”

She crossed her arms and took two steps further into the room.

Aren’t you the one who’s always saying that the word “fine” has variable meanings?”

When he did not respond to her attempt to get him to speak on his feelings, she tried another avenue.  She reached out and touched his shoulder in a gesture of sympathy.

I only think that the captain–”

–has his own agenda.”  He sighed but went on.  “It does not take an advanced degree in psychology to see that the captain is concerned with how I may react and has chosen not to include me in any of the preparations for the visit to Haven. Not only does he put the mission in jeopardy by not including his first officer, but his logic is flawed; he forgets, I am a Vulcan; I endeavor to control my emotions so they do not control me.”

He cares about you, Spock, we all care. I am sure the captain doesn’t want you to feel–”

As Spock stiffened at the word “feel”, Nyota thought it best to course correct.

It’s been over a year since the Vulcan people went into seclusion. They haven’t asked for the Federation’s assistance in all that time, so none of us know what to expect once we get there. For the first time in your life you may witness your people in a somewhat diminished state, possibly struggling to rebuild a life after so many have been taken from them. You’ll also be visiting a planet for the first time that you have no familiar bonds with, no home, no ancestral lands. That won’t be easy.”

As I said, Nyota, I am fine and nothing else needs to be said on the matter. You and the Captain have no need to be concerned with how I will react.” He quickly glanced back at her for the first time since her entrance and then returned to the tea preparations.

She nodded her head. “OK, so you’re fine. But, do you mind if I talk about my feelings on the subject, because I am not fine.”

He nodded.

As you wish.”

Setting the teacups on the coffee table, Spock proceeded to remove his blue service tunic. but kept the black undershirt on. He then assumed his customary position on his sofa that he knew was always most conducive to Nyota for talking.

With his own back pressed into the back of the sofa, Spock laid down on his side and Nyota laid down beside him, pressing her back into his chest. She snuggled in closely while he brought his left arm around the front of her. She grabbed his arm with both of her hands and stroked his wrist with her thumbs. She was completely silent for nearly ten minutes, obviously thinking and working out all she wanted to say. He waited patiently, knowing that it was always best to let her initiate any emotionally charged conversations.

I know that life must continue and that it’s not logical to wallow in sadness forever, but I’m human, I can’t help it.”

She kissed the back of his hand almost as if offering an apology for dismissing the logical arguments that he could possibly have, first. She was silent for a few more minutes and when she spoke again, Spock immediately knew that she was on the verge of tears.

I’ve been thinking about Gaila and Selkek all day.”

Here her voice broke and she sniffed loudly; Spock tightened his embrace while kissing the back of her head to encourage her to continue.

Gaila knew what enlisting in Starfleet meant, but Selkek, sweet, wonderful Selkek: he never hurt anyone. And when I think about Selkek, I can’t help but think about how Jenusia just disappeared into thin air with no explanation to me or her parents. And then there’s Turok and Solev—and sweet, beautiful, Amanda.”

Spock made no comment on those mentioned, now gone.  He remained silent for a time.  And yet, when he did finally speak, his voice was soothing and deep.

“Their memories will live on in your heart.”

Her grip then tightened; she had a more delicate matter to bring up.

And even though he wasn’t your friend, nor mine, I can’t help but think about Stonn and T’Pring.”

Nyota sniffed loudly once more, not so much for any one person’s lost, but just by the shear weight of it all pressing down on her heart.

Shhh. You did not receive the appropriate amount of rest last night and I can sense that you are very fatigued.”

It’s just–we have all been through so much.” She released Spock’s wrist and ran a hand over her wet eyes. “So much…”

With your current emotional state,” added Spock, “you are experiencing distress of the highest degree. I can help you relax if you wish. Close your eyes.”


Close your eyes,” he whispered into her hair.

She closed her eyes then and Spock placed three of his fingers to the side of her face.

My thought to your thoughts, my mind to your mind.” He did not actually speak the words aloud, but she could hear them none the less. A second or two later she was a lone figure standing in a field full of purple wildflowers. She wore a light blue garment in some sort of flowing, diaphanous fabric. The wind was blowing gently while a stringed instrument, barely indistinguishable from the sound of the breeze itself, played softly in the background.

Nyota.” A gentle, familiar, melodic voice was calling her as if on the wind itself. “Nyota, where are you?”

I am here, beloved; I am here.”

Then call to me and I will come.”

Then come, my love.”

In the distance, on the gentle rise of a hill, the figure of a man appeared. He was on horseback, a large, black, powerful looking animal at his command. He was clad in riding breeches, polished black boots, and wore a white lawn shirt, open at the collar.

And it was Spock.

You are so good to me,” she whispered.

I know,” he whispered back.


18 thoughts on “Heart’s Guardian – Chapter 3

    • Permit me to amend your sentence:

      Awww Spock is sweet to Nyota… FOR NOW!

      *insert evil, maniacal laugh here*

      • Oh LORDY!! There I was all lured into a false sense of love, warmth and affection–ready to leave a mushy comment and then BAM! You snatch away my blankie and drop it in the mud.

        *Sigh* I’m focusing on one chapter at a time so…this was excellent and I hope that I’m not left too broken and bloody by future chapters. How’s that?

      • …and then I will pick up that blankie, shake off that mud, just before casting it into the fire.

        Sorry, P, you must be raked over the coals a bit more before I am am done. And keep “focusing” because, darlin’, I believe you only have one more chapter of “happy-happy to go.

  1. Heh! Darcy always inserts himself in the right place. Tight breeches on a powerful black horse. :=)

    I cannot remember who Turok and Solev are, but I believe Stonn and T’Pring are both gone. The Raven folks didn’t ask for any help at all, not even construction materials or medicine? Well, I wonder if Jen will come to Raven out of curiosity; it would be nice to have her there when Spuhura are there too. Thanks for updating, and I hope you muse has the next chapter in the oven!

    • Turok and Solev where two of the four exchange students who studied at the academy that one summer. (see Chapter 18 of So Pleasing a Thing.)

      And as far as the the Vulcan’s not asking for help, I’m working on the assumption (based on canon… that faulty Star Trek: Enterprise canon) that the Vulcan’s were/are very self-reliant. Remember, Vulcan always came to the aid or offered aid to other cultures, not the other way around. And we will be getting to Haven shortly and then you can see for yourself how the Vulcan’s are fairing.

  2. Well goodness! I was going to write how sweet this chapter is (which it REALLY is), but then I read your response to Sharon! Double YIKES! Nyota must have done something really bad for Spock to become insensitive to hurting her (or least being a bit mean). I’m totally intrigued. Does it have anything to do with that away mission in the teaser for this story? Now I’ve got my mind totally wrapped around Spock turning from sweet to unpleasant. Hey – can we have all those chapters leading up to that moment at one time? LOL (yeah right)! This story is great! Your writing style really brings these characters actions , reactions, and situational circumstances to life. Can’t wait until we get into the central parts of the story!

    Thanks for keeping us updated fairly quickly! Great stuff!

    • Thank you for the nice words about my writing; you are so very kind.

      Yes, things are definitely go to hit the fan shortly, but I’m really digging on showcasing the “happy couple” for now. It wouldn’t be a Teresa story if I let things stay all pretty-pretty with a pink bow on top.

      I write angst, I get off on angst, and the more angst in a story the better.

      It’s funny, years ago on the Jane Austen story boards I used to encourage all the angsty writers. I never really saw the point of a sweet little love story. I mean, how interesting would Gone With the Wind be if the story was entirely about Melanie and that dumb-ass Ashley Wilkes.

      Happy endings come with a price, and my price is my readers whining and complaining. I love it! 😉

  3. Oh, Spock is the best boyfriend ever 🙂 Looking forward to reading more.
    But, I do wonder about your warning to Sharon. In my mind I’ll chalk his coming bad behavior to unresolved grief and trauma. Yes…yes.

    Have you read simplymare’s stories on ff.net? Since you like angst, you’d love her trek reboot series about the aftermath of the destruction of Vulcan. She is the angst and trauma queen! Although, you still hold the title for relationship angst.

    • *snort* Well, I already gave it away is a “sneak peek months ago. But I’ve been editing it heavily since, so you will get to see it pretty soon. Hope you guys can handle the angst! 🙂

      I haven’t been to ff.net in a long time. I got a virus on my old computer and I think I may have gotten it from them. I hesitate going on there with my new computer. Call me chicken. Perhaps I’ll risk it. The pull of good angst is just so strong!

      • “I haven’t been to ff.net in a long time. I got a virus on my old computer and I think I may have gotten it from them.”

        You did! That’s why I try not to go over there as much! I was hit twice while over there. Those advertisements that come through while reading sometimes is the culprit. Luckily – my anti-virus and spyware programs caught them before they could do any damage.

  4. Oh my goodness! *I’ve almost fainted* Spock in riding breeches and an open shirt!
    Spock and You are very good to Nyota 😀

    Ahh, so Jen just vanished… *nod*

    • I know, I had fun thinking up that scenario. I can totally see him on the back of that horse, of course, the haircut is a bit detracting. 🙂

  5. Be still my heart! I recently watched the BBC P&P all the way through on DVD for the first time since it was broadcast. Swooon, I love Spock in 19th century gear very much!

    • Wow I bet that was fun. It was probably almost like new to you. I can’t get away from it, myself. I had the 6 VHS tapes until the DVD came out, then I watched that like a crazy person. Then for Christmas about 2 years ago, my brother, knowing my obsession, got me the Special Edition boxed set… and now it’s out on Blue Ray. I don’t have a Blue Ray player (I think… I think this new laptop “might” play Blue Ray… I never read up on all it could do… I just found out the other day that it plays broadcast TV… Am such a dunce)

  6. Sorry! Double-post! I got a vicious malware virus which destroyed my PC good and proper, and ff.net was the only culprit I could think of. I wiped my PC and installed Ubuntu Unix – now, touch wood – it seems safe. Anti-malware is essential on windows, unfortunately there is no free one available.

    • I knew I wasn’t going crazy! My love of fanfic pales in comparision to my lust for both my laptops.

      Try Malwarebytes.org. I use the free version and (knock wood) I have been good to go.

      And, if you haven’t already drunk “my kool-aid” install Sugar Sync for online backup (they have a free version, too).


      After my XP laptop was killed and maimed by ff.net and I had it wiped, SugarSync saved my ass!!! All I had to do was reach up into the cloud and grab all my files. Phenomenal!!

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