Look, I’m just going to save you all the trouble

I can not pull it together.  Chapter 16 is not working no matter how many times I work on it.  Now, if you all want to read Chapters 17, 18 and the epilogue, I can probably give it to you, just not 16.

Nyota is just as happy as a clam, willing saying anything I put into her mouth – Spock, on the other hand, is being extremely difficult.  He is resisting every single line I thrust upon him.

“I’m not Fitzwilliam Darcy,” he says.

“Nor am I Frederick Wentworth.”

“Edmond Bertram?  Please, Lord, anyone but Edmond Bertram.”

“I want to be Knightley!  I do the instructive thing, rather well, I think.  Although, the Cadet is nothing like Emma.”

I will need to initiate some kind of mind meld with him to get him to stop fighting me and cooperate.

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13 thoughts on “Look, I’m just going to save you all the trouble

  1. Men! Even in a story, they give you a rough time.

    Okay, I don’t know what the problem is in chapter 16, but what if you bypass his dialog? Just have Uhura reflect on their conversation — her thoughts only.

    In P&P, JA wrote only FOUR short sentences of Darcy’s Hunsford proposal; the rest of the scene is description of Lizzy’s reaction to his words and his reaction. It’s possibly the most famous proposal in English literature and we only have FOUR sentences of it! But if it worked for JA, it might work for you too.

    Otherwise, I’ll strive to be patient until you wrestle Spock into submission!

  2. I have never excelled at the descriptive thing. I may write JA fan fiction, but I am a horrible JA style narrator. I prefer writing dialog driven stories the most.

    I “think” I may have finally gotten a handle on it. The flaw was in the completed Chapter 18. (this is what comes of writing ahead of myself) I had set up 18 in such away to harken back to 16. So, in essence, I “thought” that I “should” write 18 to fit with 16, when it should actually be the other way around.

    One good thing out of all this, though. During the rewrite of 18 this morning, it totally improved the epilogue: appropriately mushy and sentimental in all the right places. I had intended to write a completely subversive ending, but a couple of readers here have already threatened me with pitch forks and other pointy things at dusk!

    One other thing I think that happened, I lost Spock’s voice (no doubt due to reading other Spuhura fics – I have had to cut myself off but only until I finish my story) I have never been able to write “my Spock” with The Quinto in mind – I am only able to write him with Mr. Nimoy’s voice (he will always be more Spock to me – not that I’m taking anything away from The Quinto, he was great as this century’s Spock – it’s simply a generational thing with me – like the fact that there can only be one Kirk).

    I know, I know, strange to write a fic based on the new Star Trek but with some other voice. I had to watch Amok Time again this morning just to get the character’s cadence back in my head. I love that episode. I have the new HD version in my iTunes and I love all the changes, especially “place of Kunit-Kalifee” where they made a sort of two-sided land-bridge to the siteand you can see a large Vulcan city in the distance. Too cool!!!

  3. oh, I am jealous of your new HD version of Amok Time! sigh…

    subversive ending — you must have a death wish! you’re already going to get screams and shrieks over the end of FTLOJ because not all your readers are correctly wishing for Jane and the Viscount. (looks innocent)

    I’m glad ch 16/18 are now working for you!

    • Wait? You have inside information on FTLOJ?? The Viscount wins over Colonel Studmuffin!!!!! I’ll resist sharpening my pitchforks. I just have a soft spot for the Colonel.
      I’ll assume that you are just voicing your own particular wish, June. 😛

      • As for FTLOJ (for when I pull myself back together with that story) it will definitely not be an ending that will please everyone. To this day I have people contacting me either asking for Bingley & Jane, Col. F & Jane, and Lord W & Jane. So, there are three possible ending and there is only one other person out there who has the answer – and she doesn’t even visit my blog, so I know that answer is safe.

      • Colonel Jonathan “Westley” Studmu–er, Fitzwilliam: “What’s that, strange elder brother and Bingley (you warthog-faced buffoon)? You wish to surrender Butter–uh, Jane to me? Very well, I accept. …Wait, what do you mean, no, you think you have a chance? I say, DEATH FIRST!!!”

        *Studmuffin pulls his sword and girls everywhere, including Bingley, swoon. The Viscount, however, is distracted by a little beetle crawling around on Mary Bennet’s half-boot*

        (In case that wasn’t clear, I’m with you, Candace. It’s Studmuffin or nothing–and by nothing, I mean Spock beams Jane up, leaving the never-seen-a-starship-before Regency hicks to believe she really was an angel–an angel who will live forever in their hearts…)

        The end.

        P.S. Or, Teresa, you could just write your original ending, whatever that may be, plus two alternate endings–thus placating everyone.

        P.P.S. *After Studmuffin sweeps Jane off her feet, they ride off together on a white horse. On their way through Meryton, they run into Wickham. Studmuffin stops his horse, kisses Jane passionately, then asks her to excuse him for a moment. He leaps off his horse and he and Wickham stand facing each other*

        Studmuffin: “Hello. My name is Jonathan Fitzwilliam. You tried to elope with my cousin, you miserable vomitous mass. Prepare to die.”

        *Studmuffin pulls his sword and Wickham drops dead at the sight of a real soldier/man’s blade. Studmuffin shrugs and re-sheaths his sword*

        Studmuffin: “Well. That was easy. …Shall we continue on our honeymoon, my dear? I built us a lovely summer home in the Fire Swamp.”

  4. Has Spock started to cooperate yet? I know he can be a hard nut to crack. I am having a difficult time writing a slightly Pon farr rattled version of him that is believable. He keeps resisting the indignity of acting all hot and bothered or semi-stalkerish. I have to watch some TOS for pointers on how to craft Spock in the beginning stages of Pon farr. All the fics I’ve read have him totally spazzing out or basically hunting Uhura down. I can’t see my Spock/Darcy imposing himself upon a lady or completely wigging out.

    • Not only is he now cooperating, he has rolled over and is letting me scatch his belly.

      I hear ya on the writing Spock thing. I blame the screenwritiers for giving us the much more emotional Spock and I think Spock only fights us because we can not balance the two very different portrayals in our heads.

      Like I said, I had to reaffirm the Nimoy Spock in my head yesterday – the Quinto Spock has a very different inner voice that these younger or perhaps newer ST fanfic writers find easier to embrace.

      • Hee hee. I just got a very entertaining image in my head of Quinto’s Spock getting a good belly rub. It was very wrong on several levels. I am glad that he is cooperating, though. I admit that I am anxious for more of your great story.

        I am also anxious to get my mac back from the shop. My back up PC is also on the fritz–the power cord died last week. So, now I am computerless which has really harshed my muse’s vibe.

      • Oh no! No computer? I wouldn’t be able to survive. As it is I’m dragging the worlds heaviest laptop to work with me everyday just so I can edit during lunch. I hate leaving it at home because I’ll be thinking about what I could be writing on it all day (and longhand is for the birds) So, if my computer died I’d have to enroll in some sort of 12 step program.

  5. (reads JulieH’s comment) Spock beams Jane up?? whoa…. I could go for that ending! Life aboard the Enterprise with indoor plumbing, vs. Regency England with chamberpots — the choice is obvious!

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