Dear Young Man next door,

I get it, you’re still young; you still like to “entertain” young ladies in your home (at the oddest hours) but after what I witnessed yesterday, I think we need to talk about a word that is obviously not in your vocabulary: that word is discretion.

Back in my day (when the dinosaurs ruled the earth) a young lady did not turn up at a gentleman’s home at 5 o’clock in the afternoon (in a building where there are young children and a priest living down the hall, for God’s sake) wearing black lace tights, stilettos, and what I can only equate was similar to a black swim suit… with her buttocks hanging out.

Also, and more importantly, a young lady would know which address she was turning up at instead of knocking on every. single. door. in the lobby in search of your apartment.  Imagine my surprise when I was presented with this most startling sight at the advanced age of 49.  You know we ‘senior citizens’ all have weak hearts.

I do so hope that next time your many lady “friends” would show your neighbors the respect and common courtesy of wearing a trench coat (I mean, it was raining after all and you must own that a trench coat is a much more visually appealing (and probably a more sophisticated and sexy sight) than what she was wearing… or, in this case, not wearing… and warmer, too.

Signed,

Your neighbor, Teresa